There is something about the water's edge that excites, at the same time, terrifies me deep inside.
While having snacks with friends in a restaurant beside a lagoon in Subic, I saw this landing with wooden planks which caught my interest. So, I went to have a closer look and found some planks missing or rotting away. I thought that this was unsafe especially noting that a group of young people was there enjoying themselves a while ago. Which brought me back to a childhood experience.
I was with my sister and a neighbor at the riverbank near our home. My parents always reminded us not to play there. But that late afternoon with a heavy overcast, the clouds pregnant with rain, we decided to pick some very colorful snails on the boulders at the edge of the river. The river was swollen but that did not deter us from getting on the the big slippery rocks. I strained myself to reach the more colorful snails on the next boulder. Suddenly, I slipped and fell into the dark, cold water. I flailed in panic, not knowing how to swim. I tried to shout for help but this only made me swallow a lot of water. While underwater, I felt a hand hold mine, and then another. It was my sister and our neighbor. I was scared, not of losing my life, but of the scolding I would get from my mother. I never realized how this incident would have such an enormous impact on my way of thinking. Looking back, I realized why I developed a phobia for water and never learned to swim, why I have become averse to risk and why I always look at something desirable from different angles before I do something to get it.
In life, we encounter instances where we are at our "water's edge" - between the safety of "land" and the unknown in deep water. Many times, we become attracted to something - similar to the saying "the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence." And we take risk, sometimes, inordinate risk, just to get what we want. We forget the lessons taught us and we rush into action without considering the consequences. Then we panic when we find ourselves in deep water and not having anything to keep us afloat. Lucky are those with safety nets.
I find that we need safety nets - not only in our everyday life but also in work and in pleasure. For me, the first safety net to develop is oneself - abilities, skills, know-how, etc. One who has skills can easily find another job when he needs one. Then there are things that we have earned and saved in the form of cash, property, and relationships. These things we can go back to in times of need. And the more and deeper these have been developed and nurtured, the bigger the safety net. And this includes also our relationship with someone up there.
It's not bad to be risk-averse. But it should not keep us from taking action on things we dream to do. We only need to develop safety nets along the way so that when adversity comes, we have something to fall back to. And from which we can rise up again ready for another battle.
